You are what you love, not what loves you.

Well yesterday, I did it. I ended our relationship. I never thought it would really happen, and yet the entire time knew it had to. I love him, that's the hardest part. Why is it possible to love someone that much, but that love doesn't translate into something long lasting. I know I could blame it all on Florida, but he's right that it wouldn't have worked in the long run. I've never felt so comfortable with someone, and I feel like I've found my best friend. I'm going to long for his arms, and I hate that. I hate that I'm crying as I write this, despite how strong I told myself I would be. I know it's right, but it doesn't feel good. I am proud of myself for being able to do it, I didn't think I could.

I took that photo just after the words were said. He was sitting at my computer, and my mind was racing. The rain suddenly started, and I had this horrible need to freeze how I felt. And that was it. I looked out my kitchen window, and saw how the street light reflected in the pavement. And I realized, that this rain was how I was feeling, and the light was so beautiful. The thought of letting go of something/someone I love so much, but thinking about finding someone/something that I could love even more than this, gave me hope.

You think there really will be someone that loves you, so completely? That you will find something you are entirely passionate about. I keep waiting for what I hope will be the start of my life and I'm growing impatient. He's out there, and that gives me a small gleem of hope. I'm handling this well, I think.